i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
