I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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