How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
