My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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