I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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