But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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