I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
