I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
