Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
