why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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