I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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