wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
