we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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