I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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