My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm both gender and math confused
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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