Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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