i can't believe i had my finger in that
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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