I can tuck mytits in my pants
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
