I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
