Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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