yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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