I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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