so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
