Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
