You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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