Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize