Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
