he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
