Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
