i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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