Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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