also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
