Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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