Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
