I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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