Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
