its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
