She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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