i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
