My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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