She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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