You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
