plz talk dirty to me
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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