idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
