He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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