I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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