if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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