I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
