I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
