I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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